The Mysterious Adventure of Master Sulfur

Far from the universities of Alahan the goblin sorcerers often live as recluses, sometimes even having a shady reputation. They can therefore be thought to be weaker than the other practitioners of incantation. Yet this isn’t so. Isn’t the Babayagob one of the most powerful magicians of Aarklash?

The brat was holding his breath. He wasn't making the slightest sound or movement. Or almost. He placed his eye against the small hole in the barrel to see what was happening outside. Nothing. None of his eight playmates was nearby.

He was proud of his hiding place. Who would bother looking inside a barrel in the port of Zûog? This time it was sure that he would win their game of hide-and-seek! He could already see his companions' vexed expression and started laughing loudly. A curse was suddenly heard high above his head.

"Can we finally get some quiet around here?"

The brat stopped laughing and poked his head out of the barrel to face the danger: an old goblin leaning out the window of his hovel.

"Can't you see what time it is, you stupid brat? It's nighttime, so keep it down!"

"Shut up, old goblin!"

"What the... This is no playground! Brats are prohibited around here!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Look over there!" With his cane the old goblin pointed at a leaning tower at the other end of the port. "A powerful wizard lives over there... and he eats brats!"

With those words eight brat heads popped up from eight barrels standing nearby and they all shouted together, "What?"

"Yes, a powerful wizard lives in that tower!"

"That's just a tale told to scare brats!"

"You don't believe me? Well then gather 'round and I'll tell you the story of Master Sulfur."

Once Upon A Time…

... there was a young cook named Sulfur who worked hard to earn a living in Klûne. He spent his days and sometimes his nights in the kitchen of a dive on skid row. Tired, exploited and badly paid, he was harassed every day by a swarm of brats who were just as exploited as him, if not more.

"Hey Sulfur! You're really big for a brat!"

"I'm not a brat, I'm a goblin!"

"Oh yeah? Then why do you do the same work as we do? You suck."

The brats teased Sulfur. They pelted him with over­ripe fruit and rotten vegetables. The cook tried to protect himself as well as he could with his kitchen utensils, yet to no avail. There were just too many brats. Every day Sulfur ended up with a stained apron and a sad expression on his face.

"You'll see, one day I'll get revenge. One day I'll be the most powerful wizard of Aarklash!"

"But of course! And who's your magic teacher, huh?"

"I... I don't have one... for now. But one of my ancestors was a wizard. I'm sure that mana flows in my veins. By the nine bells of Rat, I will become a wizard who is respected by all!"

"You're talking a bunch of garbage. You can have all the ancestors you want, without a master or a book to learn magic, you'll never get anywhere!"

And the brats continued making fun of Sulfur, who was nothing more than a cook.

The Call of Adventure

Yet one day Sulfur's life was turned upside down.

"A boiled kraken for table nine!"

Right away Sulfur grabbed the dish and when he opened the door, a brat spat into the sauce. Sulfur wanted to slap him, yet he knew that he shouldn't keep the customers waiting. The boss, an old, one eyed ogre, didn't like when his customers complained about the service.

So, Sulfur went toward table nine and saw two pirates sitting there. They were arguing loudly and didn't notice the young cook.

"But of course, I'm telling you, she lives on Zoukhoï!"

"No, her broom is from Zoukhoï, but nobody knows where she lives."

"Smart aleck, nobody knows where she's from, but she's got to live somewhere."

"Smart aleck yourself! Have you ever been there, on Zoukhoï?"

Sulfur was listening to their conversation as intently as a brat listening to a fairy tale, without moving.

"Sulfur! You overgrown brat, get back into the kitchen!"

Standing behind the counter, his boss had noticed the cook who couldn't bear not hearing the rest of the discussion. He pretended to go back to the kitchen and then quickly slipped under a table. He then crawled like a militiaman in combat to get nearer to the two pirates again.

"I swear, he heard with his very own ears what the other guy said he saw with his very own eyes. She lives near a volcano to harvest gems of Fire from it."

"Humph... And where is this volcano?"

"On the island of Nonga Nonga!"

On hearing these words Sulfur couldn't hold back his ioy. He suddenly got up and shouted a cry of victory while spilling razorback tail soup all over the clients.

While the brats laughed and guffawed, knowing that a massacre was coming, the boss came around from behind his counter...

The Big Departure

Back at home, Sulfur was in very bad shape. His nose was swollen, his face covered with bruises and his apron torn. Luckily, he had begged his boss so much not to fire him that he still had a job... though he had lost his dignity.

Sulfur wasn't hungry. Standing on his bed, which took up nearly all the space in his room, he was leaning on the windowsill to look at Yllia. He pictured a sorceress flying through the sky on her magic broom. He had to find the Babayagob! Only the most pow­erful sorceress of the whole empire, or even of all Aarklash, could make him a magician worthy of being called one.

Cheered up, Sulfur gathered his two rags and three klûs, which is all that he owned. He packed his stuff and got ready to leave for Zoukhoï.

Zoukhoï... It's an island. It's far away. It's inhabited by strange goblins with a reputation of being completely insane. On his doorstep, and therefore at the foot of his bed, Sulfur paused and put down his pack. How would he be able to make such a journey? He would have to sleep outside, hunt to feed himself and live without a klû.

"Without a klû!"

Without a job he would be poor, even poorer than he already was, scorned by the other goblins and brats. Sulfur started crying. The tears were rolling down his bruised and swollen cheeks. Every part of his body hurt him.

The pain made his anger rise. He was already scorned by the goblins and brats. And by ogres, too. He had to get revenge. Sulfur screamed, "Vengeance!" beneath the moon. Galvanized, he picked up his pack again, abandoned his shanty and hit the road to Zoukhoï.

The Counter at the Top

Sulfur traveled for several weeks before reaching the island of Nonga Nonga, having miraculously avoided pirates, the ashigarûs and the shigobis of the Yakûsa clan. Once there, he became familiar with the local customs and bargained with the natives to get them to tell him where the sorceress's lair was.

Thus, on a moonless night, the intrepid goblin entered a forest with gnarly trees and a nauseating stench. With every step he took, his legs threatened to spin around and rush off back to Klûne, yet Sulfur hadn't come all this way for nothing. He quickly real­ized that he was lost...

While he was wandering aimlessly around the forest, he noticed a parchment nailed to a tree. Hoping to find some kind of directions, he rushed toward this unexpected clue. Before Sulfur was even near enough to be able to read any message that was written on it, the parchment burst into flames in a huge explosion.

Stunned, the young goblin was relieved to see that he was only slightly injured and covered with soot. As he got up while grumbling, he noticed strange glows moving around in the underbrush. They were moving toward him. He instinctively hid behind a tree.

He then saw three beings no bigger than brats running toward the booby-trapped tree. These creatures seemed to be made of fire: either their hair was of flames or their pants were on fire or some other kind of magical absurdity. Sulfur thought that his final hour had come and made himself as small as he could.

Not finding their prey, the flaming creatures became annoyed. They breathed fire and threw flaming stones all around themselves. One of these burning projectiles landed near Sulfur who, no longer being able to control himself, ran off screaming. Like a single goblin the flaming creatures followed him, also screaming, but for joy. Suddenly something flew through the sky so quickly that Sulfur couldn't tell what it was. He stopped for a moment to check if it wasn't another monster. The thing streaked across the sky again. It looked like it was someone. Stupefied and worried, Sulfur didn't know what to do. Suddenly the unidentified flying object shot across the sky again and landed near the goblin.

There she was, standing in front of him straddling her magic broom, horrible and terrifying: the Babayagob. The flaming creatures bowed before her and Sulfur decided to do the same.

"Who are you, horrible brat?"

"I'm not a brat, I am Sulfur the goblin, Lady Babayagob!"

"And what are you doing in my lands, Sulfur the brat?"

"I... I want to learn sorcery!"

"I don't take apprentices. Burn him!"

The flaming creatures got up, ready to attack him.

"No, pity! I'd do anything for you to accept to teach me magic!"

" And what do you know how to do?"

"Umm... I used to be a cook."

The Babayagob licked her lips at the thought of the fine little meals that would soon replace her own, which were often overcooked.

"Very well, you will be my apprentice, young brat."

The Apprentice Sorcerer

After his encounter with the Babayagob, Sulfur became her apprentice, her cook, her latrine cleaner and her porter. He spent his time in the old goblin's kitchen and almost had the impression that he was back in the dive in Klune. At least here there were no brats to pick on him.

Yet Sulfur didn't let himself become discouraged. Every evening, once he had finished his chores, he went to see the sorceress and asked her to teach him magic. And every evening the Babayagob found some excuse to avoid keeping her promise. Yet one evening, more tired than usual, she gave in to Sulfur's ardor.

"By all the bells, why do you always harass me like this?"

"I want to become a great sorcerer!"

"You're too dumb to become one. Cooks don't learn sorcery."

"I'll do everything I have to. I'll work real hard." "Really?"

"I don't know fatigue."

"Hmm. Here, take this."

The sorceress handed Sulfur a spellbook that was heavier than nine brats together. The poor goblin returned to his room with the thick book and began reading it straight away. From then on, every evening, instead of bugging the Babayagob, he went back to his room to read the spellbook, his first book of magic.

A month later Sulfur went back to see the sorceress.

"You ripped me off!"

"Huh?"

"I read the whole book and..."

"Good, here's another one..."

The Babayagob stretched her hand toward her bookshelf.

“No!”

"Excuse me?"

"I read the first one and I very well understood that I needed a gem. You didn't tell me that, you old rat!"

Normally the Babayagob would have incinerated such a disrespectful apprentice. Yet Sulfur's stubbornness never stopped surprising her.

"You want a gem?"

"Yes!"

"Very well, but you're going to have to find it yourself. That's the rule for apprentices."

“OK.”

"Tomorrow you'll climb to the top of the volcano Mata Kata. There you'll find a gem of Fire. It'll be yours, if you come back alive."

The Mountain of Fire

The next day Sulfur left for the volcano. Cutting his feet on the sharp stones, he walked until the volcano became as steep as a mountain. He then started climbing up the steep cliffs, making his fingers bleed on the rough lava stone.

Sulfur was hot, tired and scared. He could almost feel the lava rumbling inside the mountain. Many times the apprentice sorcerer thought he was going to die, but he finally saw a bright red glow at the volcano's peak. With this gem in sight his strength returned. He climbed frantically up the cliff and quickly reached what he had come looking for.

The gem was lodged tightly in the rock at the top of the mountain. Sulfur bit his lips and tried to get a good grip. He tried to dislodge the gem but slipped and nearly fell backward off the cliff. There was nothing to do; the gem wouldn't budge.

Sulfur took a deep breath and put one foot against the cliff to be able to pull harder on the gem. He pulled and pulled but to no avail. The gem just wouldn't move. Finally, he placed both his feet on the cliff on either side of the gem and pulled again with all his might.

The gem suddenly gave way and Sulfur fell with it into the void.

While falling, Sulfur did the only thing he could think of: he held the gem as tightly as he could so as not to lose it. All the way at the top a torrent of lava was spurting from the hole left by the gem. The lava hit the ground before Sulfur did and dislodged many huge stones. While the apprentice sorcerer was screaming prayers to Rat, he felt his body bounce against the cliff. Then a second time. And even a third one. Then he landed on one of the rocks floating in the lava and, holding the gem in his mouth, he held on to it for dear life.

He was now floating along on a huge stone slab in the middle of a river of molten rock. He could feel the rock melt away beneath him and his clothes started bursting into flames. Still screaming, he bit down onto the gem, which was more important than his own miserable life.

The gem suddenly started to glow and the lava came alive. A huge explosion was heard. Sulfur, his rock and his gem were shot up into the air and landed several seconds later at a good distance from the lava flow.

Grateful, Sulfur stroked his gem of Fire.

Great-Great-Great Grandfather Magnezium

The river of lava triggered true panic all over the island of Nonga Nonga. A bit reluctantly, the inhabitants asked the Babayagob for help. Thanks to her powerful witchcraft and to Sulfur's help she managed to repair her young apprentice's blunders. She didn't tell the inhabitants of Nonga Nonga anything about her former cook's responsibility in the eruption.

The Babayagob saluted Sulfur's bravery and gave him permission to come and go as he wished from her lair. After his chores, he continued learning new spells and soon discovered what could be done with Air.

Wishing to draw from the knowledge of his ancestors, he "borrowed" a gem of Air from the sorceress and secretly summoned the spirit of Magnezium, his great-great-great-grandfather. After having accidentally summoned an Air Elemental, the sorcerer's ghost finally appeared before him.

"Magnezium?"

"Himself!"

"I'm your descendant, Sulfur."

"And where are we?"

"At the Babayagob's place."

"Who that?"

"The greatest sorceress of No-Dan-Kar."

"And you, what are you doing here?"

"I'm her apprentice."

"What? There's no way my descendants content themselves with cleaning a witch's latrines. You must take your fate into your own hands and become a sorcerer by your own means!"

"Oh?"

"Your sorceress here, does she have magic trinkets?"

“Yes.”

"Good, take them all and run off back to Klûne to make a fortune."

"Huh? I can't do that," protested Sulfur.

"Oh really," sniggered the dead wizard. "And why not?"

"The Babayagob would kill me! And anyway, it's not right to steal her treasure."

"Oh yeah? And this gem of Air, is it yours?" Sulfur looked at the gem. He thought about all his chores and looked at Magnezium's ghost.

"And what do we then do with all this?"

"We open a shop!"

Sulfur again thought about all the klûs earned by the Babayagob. All that he had was the gem for which he had nearly died.

"It's a deal!"

He spit into his hand and shook Magnezium's ectoplasmic one. Later in the night, while the horrible sorceress was snoring, he stole everything he could and left without turning back.

Sulphur’s Boutique: Magic Artifacts and Trinkets

A few months later Sulfur was running a respected shop in the city of Klûne. Thanks to the trinkets stolen from the Babayagob he was making astronomical profits. What more, he didn't need any employees because Magnezium was working for him for free. Yet one beautiful morning everything changed when a goblin with a gray complexion entered his shop carrying a brat in her arms.

"Are you the boss here?"

"Yes, ma'am. How can I help you?"

The other customers held their ears open to listen in. The goblin simply held her brat toward Sulfur. He had a third eye in the middle of his forehead and his lower lip was oversized.

"What a beautiful brat!"

"Don't you dare give me none of that, he wasn't like that before my husband bought a good luck toad from you."

The customers were now whispering amongst themselves while throwing worried glances at the brat.

"And where is he, your husband?"

"At home. He has mutated so much that he can't move anymore."

"And what do you want me to do about that?"

"You're the one who sold us this junk, so it's up to you to repair the damage!"

The customers were hastily leaving the shop.

"Shush! Horrible hag, you're scaring my clients away!"

"I don't care. I want you to make all of my family's mutations go away."

Sulfur thought about it. The good luck toad was once the Babayagob's. In fact, he wasn't even sure if it really brought good luck. And he couldn't allow any bad rumors about his business to spread. So, he left Magnezium in charge of the shop and went with the goblin to her place, wanting to perform this customer service spell as quickly as possible and get over with it.

Customer Service Spell

Unlike Magnezium, Sulfur didn't like working for free. Yet confronted with the scandal the goblin risked making, he didn't have a choice. When they arrived at the hag's place he took a look at the brats and her husband. He had to admit that the whole family was in bad shape. Sulfur also examined the good luck toad and found that it definitely didn't look like a lucky charm.

Using his mystical knowledge, Sulfur understood what he was dealing with. The mana vapors coming from the toad were the cause of the husband's mutations. Yet concerning the brats, Sulfur wasn't sure if their ugliness was really due to any kind of mutation. A bit reluctantly he wrote some words of power onto several parchments, gave one to each brat and to the husband, and drew from his gem of Air to repair the damage. He then made sure that everybody was doing fine and left with the toad, which he quickly got rid of by throwing it into the city's sewers.

When he got back to his shop, Sulfur saw a whole crowd in front of it. In it he recognized some good customers as well as the objects that they were holding. From the noise of the crowd he could also tell why they were there: the customers were unhappy. On the long run all of the trinkets he had stolen from the Babayagob had terrifying side effects. The only thing preventing the clients from ransacking his store was the presence of Magnezium's ghost.

Having faith in his powers, Sulfur climbed onto a barrel standing there and took his gem of Fire into his hands.

"What's going on here, peasants?"

"You ripped us off, vile sorcerer!"

"Yeah, you're gonna give us our money back, charlatan!”

Give money back? On hearing these accursed words Sulfur's blood began to boil.

"You're going to pay for this affront, bunch of fools!"

Sulfur bit one of his fingers and pulled a parchment from his pouch with the other hand. With his blood he wrote a word of power onto it. Flames burst from the parchment, hitting the houses and his clients. Most of them ran off on seeing this, yet this assault only fanned the hatred of those who remained.

"At him!"

Sulfur quickly fled, tightly holding his two precious gems that were now empty of mana.

Beauty and the Beast

Sulfur ran aimlessly all over the slums of Klûne for the rest of the day. As the hours went by the crowd of those discontent kept on growing. Most of them weren't affected at all by the sorcerer's trinkets, but were simply glad to participate in the chase. Poor Sulfur finally managed to hide in an abandoned shack in the most run-down part of town. There, in the darkness, his ancestor finally joined him again.

"About time!" shouted Sulfur.

"Sorry, but you run so fast. I couldn't keep up with you.”

"We're ruined! What're we going to do now?"

"Get out of here fast and think of some new shady deals somewhere else."

"No way, I've had enough of..."

Suddenly a group of militiamen burst into the shack. They couldn't see Sulfur due to the darkness, yet they would soon discover him.

"Quick, gramps. Go get some help!"

"Help? Where? And who? I'm the only one who cares for you."

"Do whatever you can, I'll hold them back."

The ghost did as ordered and Sulfur stood up as tall as his meter allowed him to. His gems were glowing softly.

"Flee, bunch of larva, from the power of Master Sulfur!"

"Charge!"

Sulfur grabbed a parchment, scribbled a word of power onto it and held it in front of his opponents. A wall of fire instantly blocked the militiamen's attack... and set the whole shack ablaze.

Sulfur and his pursuers got out of the inferno, which was now spreading all over the neighborhood, as quickly as they could. Alerted by the fire, the crowd of those discontent arrived and a dreadful battle began.

After almost an hour Sulfur's gems were empty once again. Most of the goblins had fled, yet there were still some left. Drained of all his strength, the sorcerer collapsed. A militiaman was spinning his sword above his head, about to finish him off.

That's when she appeared from out of nowhere. Beautiful, graceful, terrifying. Sulfur had never seen such a magnificent goblin. In her left hand she was holding a parchment; with her right one she was skill­fully writing a word of power and zapped a militiaman with a mana bolt. No more was needed to scare the last fighters away from this hellish place.

"Who are you, beautiful stranger?" mumbled Sulfur, still in a state of shock.

The female goblin smiled.

"Asphyxia, sorceress of the sabbath of Klûne."

"Sabbath? What's that, beautiful damsel?"

"You're a sorcerer and you don't know that? Who's your master?"

"It's... It's complicated. Me, I'm Sulfur, and him, he's Magnezium, my ancestor."

The ghost pointed at himself, proud of having brought such seductive reinforcements.

"You're cute, both of you. Tomorrow night there's a full moon. Come and see me, I'll show you my sabbath."

Not aware of what this could be, Sulfur excitedly took the note that Asphyxia was handing him. A date!

Everything OK?

The next day at dawn Sulfur was prey to fits of excitement while he wandered thought the streets of Klûne.

"She's going to show me her sabbath! She's going to show me her sabbath!"

"Yes, but you know, a sabbath, that's not..."

"Oh c'mon, ghost, stop bugging me. Tonight, I want to be alone with her.”

"But either way, you..."

"Leave me alone!"

Facing such stubbornness, Magnezium vanished the way that only ghosts can. A few minutes later Sulfur was standing in front of the giant mushroom indicated on the note. A psycho mutant was standing at the door.

“Gem.”

Sulfur showed him his gem. Without saying a word, the psychomutant opened the mushroom's door and gestured Sulfur to walk down some steps. The sorcerer was thrilled. He would soon see his darling again. And what a lady she was! Such a big home and a servant, too!

When he reached the bottom of the staircase, Sulfur was in a dark hall filled with goblins and she-goblins. He couldn't even see Asphyxia.

"Welcome to the sabbath!" a tipsy goblin shouted at him.

Suddenly Sulfur remembered one of the Babayagob's rare lessons: sabbaths are meetings of sorcerers! Disappointed, he started looking for his beloved. He found her on the dance floor waltzing with some dandy. She was dancing with grace, her hair swirling in the air like sublime streaks of mana.

Sulfur mustered up all his courage. He moved onto the dance floor in such a way as to be seen by Asphyxia. To his great relief the sorceress forgot the dandy and turned towards him.

"Do you waltz, Master Sulfur?"

"I will learn, Lady Asphyxia."

And the two sorcerers began dancing. They waltzed for so long and so good that they didn't notice time passing by. Suddenly a sorcerer spoke.

"Please give a warm welcome to tonight's special guest, the famous, the horrible, the breathtaking... Babayagob!"

The gathering of sorcerers applauded the formidable sorceress when she appeared in the hall. As for Sulfur, he didn't know what to do any more. He tried to flee, yet he bumped into the dandy who, getting out of his way, revealed the unfortunate sorcerer to the Babayagob.

"Vengeance!" shouted the old witch when she recognized her runaway apprentice.

Without further warning she unleashed an inferno of Fire and Air at poor Sulfur. He tried to counter the sorceress's attacks, yet to no avail. Overwhelmed by such power, he stood up straight, ready to defend his green skin in a dreadful duel of sorcerers. The other goblins got into a circle around the two rivals, thus forming a mystic arena. The clash was surely going to be amazing.

"Militia!"

Suddenly countless Klûne militiamen burst down the steps.

"The neighbors called the authorities. You're making too much noise."

Asphyxia stood firmly before them.

"So?"

"Militia, shackles, prison."

The sorcerers reacted in unison and shot dreadful fireballs at the militiamen. As one could have expected, reinforcements arrived and Sulfur was once again in the middle of a deluge of Fire and Air. This time, however, he was fighting back-to-back with the Babayagob. Faced with such a big number of opponents he doubled his efforts and rivaled his former master in aggressiveness. When the militia was finally forced to retreat, Sulfur quickly went looking for his dear. He found her safe and sound, her gems still full.

They exchanged some tender words and were embracing each other when the old witch roared.

"Halt! We still have to get even, worthless brat."

Petrified with fear, Sulfur inspected his gems: empty! The Babayagob got closer.

"What have you done with my trinkets?"

"I sold them."

"What?!? To who?"

"To the inhabitants of Klûne. But they didn't work. They were all cursed and they all wanted me to give them back their money. They burned down my shop and almost killed me."

"Serves you right! That'll teach you a lesson."

The Babayagob looked Sulfur up and down.

"Humph. You almost look like a real sorcerer."

"Thanks."

"You're the only apprentice who ever survived, so I won't kill you."

"Thanks!"

Sulfur hugged the old goblin.

"OK, OK! Let's not get too sentimental either."

"Thanks, Babayagob."

"Good bye, Sulfur."

And the Babayagob flew off on her magic broom.

"Ahem..."

Magnezium was back.

"Yes, gramps?"

"It looks like you managed very well without me."

"Yup!"

"It's a bit my fault, everything that happened to you."

"No it's not, gramps. And anyway, all these fights with the militia were fun."

"Well, I'm not so sure about that. I don't think there's much left for me to do in the world of the living. And anyhow, she's right, you're a bona fide sor­cerer now, so you don't need me anymore."

"So you're going to leave too?"

"Yes, but you know how to get my approval."

"Good bye, gramps."

Once again, and for the last time, Magnezium vanished the way that only ghosts know to. Sulfur turned toward Asphyxia. While other militiamen were arriving the two sorcerers slipped away. They even fled the capital and settled over here in Zûog to avoid trouble. And they lived happily ever after and had many brats... and ate them.

Epilogue

"Your story sucks!"

"Yeah, it's not even believable! The Babayagob would never have let him live!"

"Pfff!"

The nine brats laughed and walked away from the old goblin's shack. They exchanged mischievous glances and then ran to the end of the pontoon.

A few moments later they were lifting each other up so that one of them could peek into one of the windows of the leaning tower. The brat discovered a huge circular room covered with a glass dome revealing the starry sky.

A goblin and a she-goblin were there in each other's arms, ready to do a devilish dance.

Recognizing Sulfur and Asphyxia, the nine brats ran off, screaming.

Notes

The Mysterious Adventure of Master Sulfur lore excerpt is from Cry Havoc volume 7.